i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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