I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize