just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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