we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
