this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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