Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize