He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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