Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
