I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
