just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
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It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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