as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Randomize
