I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
