i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
