Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?