i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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