If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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