How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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