Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
