Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
