you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
