Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
