Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
