idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
