I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
