just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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