What did we do last night that was yellow?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
