i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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