yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
