Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
