i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize