kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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