I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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