Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
