its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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