Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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