I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
