I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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