I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
