You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This baby is an asshole
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
