I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
