she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize