she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Girls should come with a carfax report
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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