I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
