No stitches, just platelets and will power
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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