stop calling my apartment porn island.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize