he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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