I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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