Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
