We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
