you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
