I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
