She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
