I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
