I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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