Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize