Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
