I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
