He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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