Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
