They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
